So part of getting older means realizing a few things you used to wear aren't exactly going to work in your life anymore.
One of those things is
shorts.
Or, I should clarify,
length of shorts.
Now, up until recently,
I have always been the chick who likes to wear shorts shorter than I should.
I am seriously lacking in the bootay region (as a matter a fact, my ass as never come close to being described as a bootay...),
so wearing short shorts was never really an issue.
No inappropriate butt bulge in sight.
High five...to me...
That was until I had my babies,
and I started paying attention to the amount of time I spend during my day bending over to pick up my kids.
Cue: inappropriate butt bulge.
AND the inspiration behind this post.
Now, to discuss the various short lengths,
and their appropriateness.
Level 1:
 |
| unknown Pinterest photo |
If your butt looks like this when you bend over,
or even worse,
when you are standing,
I don't care how old you are.
NO.
No No No.
Nooooooo.
This is not ok.
You'll have passerbys placing bets to whether you are a stripper or a hooker,
and if you are neither...
well, my dear...
that is a situation I wouldn't wish on anyone.
Level 2:
 |
This is usually the level of shortness I stick to,
and even this is fairly short.
I have to stop and ask myself sometimes,
do most women in their late 20s with children wear shorts this short?
And the answer is...
I don't really care.
Until my butt and upper legs starts looking like it got hit with a bag of nickels,
I'm going to keep wearing shorts like this.
Shazaam.
Level 3:
 |
This level is usually appropriate for anyone.
And its probably the length I should consider.
Even if you have a JLo behind,
these should work for you.
These allow those who like to dress more appropriate than myself
look sexy and classy.
All at the same time.
Win. Win.
Level 4:
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| manrepeller.com |
The Bermuda.
The universally flattering short length.
I seriously have yet to see any woman who does not look good in Bermuda shorts.
If you are not as daring,
but are facing 100 degree weather like I have been for the last two weeks,
these are your go-to shorts.
I have been literally foaming at the mouth for some lace shorts...
These are kinda sorta a BIG DEAL right now,
and I am on the hunt for some reasonably priced,
and not too short,
lace shorts.
Lace shorts can be paired with a multitude of tops, shoes, etc,
but the key to wearing lace shorts,
at least if they are white,
is to have them rest a little bit longer on your leg.
That takes away the risk of diaper drama.
I don't know about you guys,
but
I don't ever want to be mistaken for wearing a diaper in public.
Vero Moda short shorts, $17 / ALDO high heels / Hermès clutch handbag / Alexander McQueen jewelry / Gorjana stud earrings / Oasis wrap jewelry, $46 / Friendship bracelet / Tom Ford cat eye sunglasses, $300 / Essie nail polish
